Not Knowing
by Traci
Summary: Post-John Doe - While tending to John's injuries, Monica comes to terms with some of her fears


Disclaimer: NOT AGAIN!!! Waaaahhhh!!! I hate writing disclaimers... if anyone reading this really does this I own them... please send any financial donations to me - I'd hate to deprive people of their disillusions hehehhee.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Category: DRR, post-ep  
  
Spoilers: John Doe - post ep.  
  
Author's Notes: I have none - Letterman's about to start his top 10 list so I must watch :)  
  
  
Not Knowing  
  
  
"Come on, John, let's get you cleaned up."  
  
John Doggett's swollen eyes took in the tall brunette standing before him as he leaned against a car for support. Her soulful, soft brown eyes looked tired and inside he cringed at the darkening bruise on her temple, a result of him losing control of their getaway bus.  
  
"John?"  
  
A comforting warmth ran through his viens at her touch, though just a hand on his arm. "Sorry, still trying to sort things out in my head. How did you find me, Monica?"  
  
Smiling, Monica Reyes, his partner, shook her head. "Not until I get you to a hotel and in a hot shower."  
  
"With you?" he asked with a smirk.  
  
She laughed. "Nice to know that your sense of humor wasn't messed with." Taking his hand in hers, she tugged it gently for him to follow her to a nearby car.  
  
**********  
  
Monica sat on the king size bed and sorted through a small variety of first aid supplies while John showered. Before leaving the scene, Monica informed their superior, Walter Skinner, that she was taking John to get cleaned up and they would head back to the States in a few hours. Hesitantly, Skinner had agreed.   
  
She sighed. It had been two long weeks. Two weeks of running on strictly adrenaline. Not know if John was alive or dead. Not knowing when or if she would ever see him again. Not knowing... that was the hardest part. At work she was able to be strong but every night she wore herself out crying to sleep.  
  
"Mon, are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, fine." Looking up at him, she held in a gasp. He was covered in bruises - too many to count.  
  
John sat beside her, wearing only the towel wrapped around his waist, and took her hand. "You're not alright. You wouldn't be crying if you were."  
  
Running her hands over her face, she hadn't even realized she'd been crying. "I'm just relieved and tired. That's all." Monica picked up some bandaged and antibiotic ointment. "Now, let's get started."  
  
He sat still while she wrapped an ACE bandaged around his bruised ribs. He bit his lower lip as she applied rubbing alcohol on some of the deeper cuts. As she carefully dabbed ointment around his swollen eyes, his clear blue eyes locked with hers. "I'm really here. It's over."  
  
Monica stared at him for a moment and could hold back no longer. Ignoring his own physical pain, John wrapped his arms around her and they held each other.  
  
"I'd never been so scared in my life, John," she sobbed into his shoulder. "There was no word. We couldn't get any leads. Kersh pulled everyone off the case. People disappear all the time in Mexico."  
  
"You wouldn't have given up. You would have found me eventually. You did find me."  
  
Slowly she pulled back and looked at him, wiping her own tears. "I'm sorry, John. I don't know..." She laughed. "It's not like me to break down like this. Guess I'm just lacking sleep." Standing up, she took a deep breath. "Think you can make it back to Texas?"  
  
"Yeah," he laughed. "As soon as I put clothes on."  
  
She blushed.  
  
When he returned from the bathroom after putting his clothes on, he stood in front of Monica, who sat on the bed. "Monica, I know what it's like... The not knowing."  
  
Hesitating before answering, she said, "I know you do." She stood up and carefully touched his cheek. "Are you going to be okay?"  
  
Taking a moment, he finally nodded. "I will be."  
  
"I'm sorry you... I'm just sorry."  
  
Then he smiled at her as best as he could through the bruises. "At least you'll be there to help me through it, just like the last time."  
  
Without a thought, Monica wrapped her arms around his neck and held him as tightly as she dared. "You know I will." Letting go, she took his hand in hers and opened the motel door. "Now let's get out of here."  
  
"I couldn't agree more," he told her, closing the door behind them. Closing it on what might have been.  
  
  
Le End 


End file.
